So, I'm way too hyped about going down to L.A. tonight for the release show tomorrow, and I couldn't concentrate on work... so I busted out this list. You might not fall into any of these, or you might fall into several... I'm just acting the fool, haha.
You’re doing it right:
CUTS: Scratch-centered PUTS fans. Like songs like The Double K Show or The Second Track.
UMLAUTS: P fans from Germanic European countries.
SHOUTS: The loudest dudes at the show… AWWWWWWWWWWWW… SH*T!
BUYOUTS: Get EVERY P release in every format. Always scopin’ for Back on the Block or Mithai on eBay.
DUGOUTS: Vinyl-based P fans. Probably DJs themselves.
HUTS: Hat-wearing P fans. Always got the lid on. ALWAYS.
STANDOUTS: The first people at the door for a P show. Usually about 3 hours early. May have an ice chest.
BAILOUTS: Not afraid to buy the beers for other P fans that couldn’t afford one. And they buy the good stuff too.
TAKEOUTS: Like BAILOUTS, these guys get food for the broke homies after the show.
STRUTS: P fans with serious dance moves.
LOCKNUTS: Like struts, but these guys come with the breakin’.
STOUTS: Solid P fans that are the foundation of the group.
WIPEOUTS: Surfing P fans.
WORKOUTS: Muscular P fans who you’ll probably want on your side if you come up against UPPERCUTS (see below).
CHECKOUTS: Your friends that are down to see a show without having heard the PUTS.
TURNOUTS: Always leave a P show with a woman on each arm. One of them is probably someone’s girlfriend.
CLOUTS: Know the group & they’ll get you backstage access.
You’re doing it all wrong:
BLACKOUTS: PUTS fans that usually have need Excedrin the morning after the concert. They avoid the sun like a vampire.
BLOWOUTS: PUTS fans that are usually still high the morning after the show. Appreciate a nice big breakfast.
DONUTS: PUTS fans that hit up the convenience store for snacks and make other P fans hold their place in the ticket line.
NUTS: Unstable PUTS fans. They identify with Creepshow a lot. Keep them away from your girl’s feet.
LOOKOUTS: PUTS fans that always spill their beer during the show. (If you’re gonna dance with that beer, don’t flail, man!!)
HIDEOUTS: P fans who are afraid to be P fans.
BREAKOUTS: They wanted to be at the show so bad, they couldn’t wait for their 3-5 year sentence to be up.
KNOCKABOUTS: Little guys who show up to P shows and let themselves get shoved around. Buff up!!
WHEREABOUTS: P fans who said they’d be at the show, but never make it.
HEREABOUTS: Unlike WHEREABOUTS, they show up to the show, but then disappear.
FLOUTS: Tells everyone that they are the biggest P fan.
We hate you:
PHASEOUTS: Punks Hating Anything Stepfather-Era Onward (Under The Stairs)
HOLDOUTS: PUTS fans that always think the newest album isn’t up to standard
HANDOUTS: Nerds who download all the P songs and don’t pay for anything.
WALKOUTS: Usually leave a P show halfway through because they think they’ll really find something better.
UPPERCUTS: PUTS fans that wanna start a fight during the shows.
DEBUTS: People who ONLY listen to Next Step
RAINOUTS: People who ONLY listen to “Acid Raindrops”
LAYABOUTS: People who refuse to come to a show when the P’s in town.
ASTRONAUTS: The dudes at the merch table who chat Thes up but don’t notice other people are trying to buy things. Give ‘em ten minutes, and they’ll be telling Thes “a good idea for a song for the next album”
GUTS: Girlfriends Under The Stairs (not for actual P fans, but wives/gfs of P fans… this was actually used by PUTS as a name for their ladies in the 90’s)
SLUTS: Sexy Ladies Under The Stairs (might cause controversy if you call one of them this, though)
CHESTNUTS: The girls jumping up and down a lot at the shows.
KNOCKOUTS: The cuties that cause other P fans to turn into NUTS (see above).
PUTOUTS: Don’t go near these ladies.