I just really hope that everyone here realizes that they are not alone in their problems, and that they shouldn't let their problems become insurmountable, or unnecessarily overburden themselves. It's ok to let things go sometimes. Everyone has troubles, the trick is to find ways to resolve them before they become too big to handle: problems rarely just go away. Having peace of mind can be a difficult thing to attain, and can sometimes seem impossible, but it's a perspective that is well-worth fighting for.

More Than You Know...

It's trench from a few years back. This is a sad reason to get back on the P forums but I have to send my condolences to Pat and his family. Reading everything people have said here, as well as knowing Pat (as many here did, through his warmth and inviting presence on these forums, FB, IG and elsewhere in the web), brings me a lot of mixed emotions. I remember back in like '09 when I was just a high school junior, so hyped on the P. I wrote a paper for my U.S. history class on the origins of hip-hop and it's potential to propel change in disadvantaged communities in the U.S. and elsewhere. I remember I even posted the whole thing on the forum, I'm sure it's here somewhere. Pat was one of maybe 2 or 3 people that read the whole thing. He even talked to me about it after, giving pointers and even crediting me with a good job on it.

This is just one story from one acquaintance of his, but I just want to let people know that people don't normally stretch themselves like that for another person, especially a young, vulnerable guy like myself. Writing this gives me some solace, but truthfully I'm going to keep thinking about Pat and his untimely loss. It's going to be alright man, you always meant more than you know.

RIP Pmuny.

I can relate to your Man vs Work statement personally. During 2008 I was faced with a devastating choice to shut my construction company down due to the "Great Recession" and the housing crash. This was one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make and dealing with the repercussions for the following 6 years was a drudgery to say the least. The fact that my wife was supporting me financially through this time was comforting and at the same time torturous. I was struggling with the "utility" of my being and having no way to provide for my family was discouraging and depressing. The judgement passed by all that knew us was hard to deal with and actually made us more reclusive socially and less likely to interact with friends/family, which fueled the depression inside me. By the end of the 6th year I was at an all-time low emotionally, socially, and mentally. Everyday I had to give myself a pep talk just to be productive and fake positivity for my wife as to not make her overly concerned with my well being and self confidence.

Now with all that said, I don't know how much I would have been affected by this if I was single and not feeling social pressures to be the bread winner for my family. What I can say for certainty is that if it wasn't for my lovely wife's support during that time I would probably not be here today as depression had a death grip on me.

I can relate to what Pat said in his FB post, being depressed impacts all that are around you more than you will ever realize. I look back often at how strong my wife was and I can't help but feel guilt for the emotional rollercoaster I put her through. I thank God everyday that she is here with me still. Hindsight has taught me that what got us through it all was talking about it openly and often. I urge any of you that have feelings of depression to let someone know, it helps to hear others' perspective and feedback. Holding it in will do you no good and create a warped sense of reality internally, potentially leading to the sad ending that Pat succumbed to.

I am not sharing this to get a pity party as life is now better than it has ever been for me. I am sharing this in the hopes to circumvent anything like this happening again to those I respect and love. I too would usually not share such personal info but I feel that this forum is an extension of my family and sometimes just knowing that others are having or had a tough time makes you feel that your not the only one and life will get better if you give it a chance, however long that chance may take....

I wish that I would have shared this story sooner for Pat's sake. Not that it would have made much of a difference but if it helps just one person then it's worth the risk of putting myself out there.

One Love

RIP Pat... #ForeverThePmuny

Ironically, by talking about something like that in public, you are probably a bigger tough guy than all of us!